If you ask most people whether they would rather look smart to the world or actually be smart and have no one know it, I think a majority would choose to look smart. So, here are five thing that you can do that will make you seem smart to other people while actually reducing your IQ, knowledge base and creativity.
1. Specialize
Mentally challenged people are helped to get by in the world by being taught a single skill that they do very well. It can be something as simple as taking out the garbage or running a cash register, but once they learn it people accept them in situations they wouldn’t before. Studies have shown that if you do one thing well, people will put up with you not being able to do other things.
Think of the stereotype of the absent-minded professor. A person so lost in their own limited academic world (Of Physics or History or Shakespearean Sonnets) that they can’t be expected to remember a phone number or where they parked their car. So, if you want to seem smarter, spend all your time studying only one thing. Don’t bother trying to relate it to other area of interests or to actual life, just memorize facts.
That way when you do something that seems less than smart, your friends can say, “Oh, he’s always so lost in thought about the trickster narratives of the Native Americans, it’s no wonder he can’t add numbers, comb his hair or hold down a job.”
It’s also a great way to stop other people from boring you when they start talking about what interests them. You can cut off the interaction by pointing out that what they’re saying is outside your area of expertise.
Of course, the only way to have a new thought about a topic is to try to relate it to other topics. But, we don’t care about that. We just want to look smart.
2. Perfect the Disapproving Grunt And Sigh
This is great in any conversation where you feel uncomfortable with the topic. Instead of admitting that you don’t know anything about it or asking questions for clarification, just grunt and sigh. That way the other people will feel that you are smarter than they are and have dismissed what they are talking about as trivial.
You not only seem better than they are, but you have also made them feel stupid and prevented them from teaching you something new.
3. Only Use Words You Are Sure You Know How To Spell And Pronounce
Nothing makes you looks more like an idiot than fumbling language. Stick to what you know! People will argue that tapes and books can teach you new words, but you still risk a terrible mistake.
Learning new words can broaden your thinking and amplify your ability to communicate. However, doing so will open you up to appearing stupid, so you should stick with words you are 100% positive of pronunciation and meaning. Even if it takes you an entire extra sentence to explain a concept that one word would have clarified instantly, it’s totally worth it.
4. If You Haven’t Done It, It’s Not Worth Doing
This is great for not having to appear stupid while trying new things. If someone suggests you try something new, travel to a new location or learn a new skill, just have pat reasons for explaining why it isn’t worth doing. Good general answers include “I can’t waste my time with that” and “I’ve read about that and what we already do is far better”. If you want to appear smart, never try a new type of food, go to a new store or learn to dance in front of other people. Either do the activity by yourself until you become proficient or don’t try anything new at all.
5. Notice Other People’s Mistakes And Call Attention To Them
If you make fun of someone for their mistakes, it obviously means it’s a mistake that you don’t make. So, pointing out everyone’s mistakes to them will make you look more perfect. Now, remember this list is about people thinking that you’re smart, not people liking you. Using this step will make people like you less, but they will think you’re a smart jerk instead of a stupid jerk.
Also, this will bring you less contact with other people, which means that your exposure to new ideas, stories and opinions is limited. But, you are so smart it doesn’t matter.
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Feel free to take these tricks and use them to get ahead in the world. When you’re done with that, do the exact opposite and actually get smarter and more creative.